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henri, on potatoes
Nov. 10th, 2010 08:27 pm“Once upon a time, there existed an extremely atrocious potato,” Henri sniffs, the warm milk making her nose runny. “The monstrosity was incredibly large, with lumps that resembled blunt spikes, and numerous dark spots on it. It seemed even more disgusting than it actually was because it was put in the same packaging as the prettiest little potato in the entire world.”
“Henri, where is this story going?”
“Being a brand new potato, fresh out of the ground and packing center, he was excited to be purchased and consumed by prospecting purchasers. But alas, he was hideous, so he was stuck in the spud shelf with the prettiest little potato at the grocer’s the entire day.
“It’s your fault why we’re not being bought, the prettiest little potato said, clearly displeased by the presence of the atrocious one. At this rate, nobody will ever buy us! And of course, the atrocious potato was saddened by the prettiest little potato’s words. Unfortunately, since he was only a potato, suicide was not an option.
“Fortunately, a little girl decided to buy the two.
“Look at this ugly potato, mommy! It’s so coool! But her mother said, Honey, that’s useless. We have no need for that extremely hideous potato! And so the girl told her, But look at the prettiest little potato beside it. Isn’t it gorgeous? And so the mother-daughter pair bought the potatoes, and the four were satisfied. Then everyone died of food poisoning and genetic mutation. The end.”
“Henri, where is this story going?”
“Being a brand new potato, fresh out of the ground and packing center, he was excited to be purchased and consumed by prospecting purchasers. But alas, he was hideous, so he was stuck in the spud shelf with the prettiest little potato at the grocer’s the entire day.
“It’s your fault why we’re not being bought, the prettiest little potato said, clearly displeased by the presence of the atrocious one. At this rate, nobody will ever buy us! And of course, the atrocious potato was saddened by the prettiest little potato’s words. Unfortunately, since he was only a potato, suicide was not an option.
“Fortunately, a little girl decided to buy the two.
“Look at this ugly potato, mommy! It’s so coool! But her mother said, Honey, that’s useless. We have no need for that extremely hideous potato! And so the girl told her, But look at the prettiest little potato beside it. Isn’t it gorgeous? And so the mother-daughter pair bought the potatoes, and the four were satisfied. Then everyone died of food poisoning and genetic mutation. The end.”
